Daddy's Home

"I have no problem going back to prison." Will Smith, "Bad Boys II"

 

"Daddy's Home" was a classic Doo Wop skirt-turner by Shep and the Lime Lights, it was also the warning signal that the male parent was in the house, which meant that any hopes of taking out the young lady inside would go through "daddy." It was a ritual that had to do with becoming a man and learning to give respect in order to have a chance to earn it.

That was a long time ago when marriages lasted and families stayed together; not that relationships were any better or that men and women related to each other any better. The no-fault divorce still was years away and it was common practice for men to marry women they impregnated. It was also a time when teenage boys had to ask a girl's father for permission to date his daughter.

It was not easy being put on the carpet to answer questions like “Who are your folks?" Or, "What are your intentions toward my daughter," a question we all learned to answer gracefully if not honestly. Other questions included, "Do you have a job" or "Are you going to school?" Fathers wanted to know a young man's potential if he allowed his daughter to have boyfriend.

Making matters even worse were the stories of fathers that packed weapons, were known for fighting or that spent time in the pen. Of course, there was never any verification, but rumors were enough to make some stay away. Nevertheless, foolish hearts overcame fear to make the lonely approach.

As a 16-year-old kid, asking a grown man for permission to date his daughter was a frightening experience that required practice of the words intended to be spoken and to questions that might be asked. The idea was to look mature, but not dangerous in a sexual way. However, the best most guys managed to pull off were sheepish mumbling and nonsensical answers, which wasn't all bad.

The entire idea was a show of force letting the young man know there was someone that cared about the young woman who was more than capable of causing serious problems for a young man with dreams of building a reputation.

Interestingly, I have a sister and she let me know that having older brothers is even worse than the father interview. I know that she did not care for our interventions, but it is what older brother's do--discourage potential suitors. With single parenthood and no fault divorce, those days are long past, but, perhaps, they should be revived. I'm sure that such measures would carry little weight in today's litigation prone society, but maybe it is something worth thinking about.

They Smile in Your Face . . .

 . . . The Backstabbers--Independence, KS--Few whites, if any, in Independence knew the name Gabriel Prosser. In fact, few blacks knew of him. Nevertheless, many knew of circumstances just like those that ended Prosser's life and some in Independence actually experienced them.

Prosser was a slave born in 1776, the year the United States won its Independence from Great Britain. Unlike other slaves during that time, he was educated and had a deep seated thirst for freedom. Long story short, he planned a revolt, but before the revolt could get off the ground two other slave sold him out, which resulted in Prosser's death, as well as, the execution of  30 slaves that helped set the plan in motion.

What does this have to do with Independence? Absolutely nothing and absolutely everything. I lived in the Independence when there were "colored sections" at the movies, side windows for food service and a ban on Negroes in the public swimming pool. However, times were changing--fast. In 1954, the Supreme Court's decision in Brown vs. the Topeka Board of Education effectively put an end to segregation.

Things didn't change immediately, but suddenly black voices began to speak out. Why even mention this, as we all know Independence integrated early and with relatively few problems or that's what most like to believe, but pressure came from a variety of factions. Interestingly, like in the Gabriel Prosser revolt, there were Negroes in Independence that tattled about the plans of local blacks and their attempts to push for a better life.

My father told me about it and said that whenever plans were being made there were always two meetings; one scheduled just for the tattletales and a second one where the real information was on display. It was like that until 1965, when blacks had achieved a measure of respect and didn't care who told what or who they told.

Special favors including money, power and even sex marks today's sellouts. If you don't know who they are, here are a few labels others apply to them: Oreos, Bananas and Coconuts. If you haven't heard those terms, they are derogatory names meaning traitor.

Note: I'm getting back after finishing another book. Although it will eventually draw me away, I am in the research phases; so, I'll be able to maintain this more regularly.

That's all from my neighborhood today.