"I have no problem going back to prison." Will Smith, "Bad Boys II"
"Daddy's Home" was a
classic Doo Wop skirt-turner by Shep and the Lime Lights, it was also the
warning signal that the male parent was in the house, which meant that any
hopes of taking out the young lady inside would go through "daddy."
It was a ritual that had to do with becoming a man and learning to give respect
in order to have a chance to earn it.
That was a long time ago when
marriages lasted and families stayed together; not that relationships were any
better or that men and women related to each other any better. The no-fault
divorce still was years away and it was common practice for men to marry women
they impregnated. It was also a time when teenage boys had to ask a girl's
father for permission to date his daughter.
It was not easy being put on the
carpet to answer questions like “Who are your folks?" Or, "What are
your intentions toward my daughter," a question we all learned to answer
gracefully if not honestly. Other questions included, "Do you have a
job" or "Are you going to school?" Fathers wanted to know a
young man's potential if he allowed his daughter to have boyfriend.
Making matters even worse were
the stories of fathers that packed weapons, were known for fighting or that
spent time in the pen. Of course, there was never any verification, but rumors
were enough to make some stay away. Nevertheless, foolish hearts overcame fear
to make the lonely approach.
As a 16-year-old kid, asking a
grown man for permission to date his daughter was a frightening experience that
required practice of the words intended to be spoken and to questions that
might be asked. The idea was to look mature, but not dangerous in a sexual way.
However, the best most guys managed to pull off were sheepish mumbling and
nonsensical answers, which wasn't all bad.
The entire idea was a show of
force letting the young man know there was someone that cared about the young
woman who was more than capable of causing serious problems for a young man
with dreams of building a reputation.
Interestingly, I have a sister
and she let me know that having older brothers is even worse than the father
interview. I know that she did not care for our interventions, but it is what
older brother's do--discourage potential suitors. With single parenthood and no
fault divorce, those days are long past, but, perhaps, they should be revived.
I'm sure that such measures would carry little weight in today's litigation
prone society, but maybe it is something worth thinking about.
